Mind games 4

Following Frank into Retirement – 4 months into it

A series of articles starting 5 months from retirement and into retirement

By Frank

So I’ve had my month at home with no travels whatsoever and it has been an interesting ride. At times, life was like molasses in January (sweet but very slow) and I wondered if I could stand the pace. And yet, sitting down to write this blog it seems that another month has passed by in a blink of an eye. I’ve now realized that my forecasted three months to adjust to retirement realistically will be more like a full year. I’m a little anxious about how it will all end up.

Freaking out

Money could be my Achilles heel (and all this time I thought it was food). When I wake up at night, it is often money that is on my mind (although our children run a close second). I don’t like losing sleep worrying about money (or about children for that matter). Sometimes I worry about money that is needed to help our children, a double whammy.

For me, being retired and staying at home is expensive. There are dozens of home improvement projects that I would like to start, but with each one comes a cost. Raised garden beds – $900. Driveway improvements – $600. Wallpaper and paint, new trim, new closet doors, wood stain, replacement fencing, new lawnmower – the list is endless and doesn’t include costs such as septic pump out ($440) and chimney sweeping ($200).

We have two kids just finishing school in April. Theoretically this would mean that they are off the family payroll, but realistically they are both broke and will need some support at least for the month of May, perhaps longer. I really enjoy helping them out.

Then there are my want-to-haves. I want new tools, a new barbeque, new pedals for my bike, comfy chairs for our downstairs room… I’m not used to delayed gratification. I don’t like it either.

Stay calm

Ahh! Nothing like a good cup of tea to calm one’s self down. Actually it was Suzanne who did most of the calming by reminding me that we had made a conscious decision to take more life over more money. We have a good yearly budget (albeit a bit stretched this year) and have the flexibility to make decisions on the best ways to spend money each year. It never ceases to amaze me how well we can get by without running out and buying those ‘absolute necessities’.

We also have loads of projects to do without spending much money, such as splitting wood, stripping wallpaper, trail making and shingling our woodshed (like the backsplash tiles, we’ve been aging the shingles for two years now).

So for the rest of the year, we will follow our budget closely. By limiting the number of times we eat at restaurants or succumb to rampant consumerism, we will have no problem covering the unexpected expenses of this year.

Discipline

For all you “Fifty Shades of Grey” fans, sorry, this is not the sort of discipline I mean (although I’m pretty good at self-flagellation). So much of retirement seems to hinge on exercising discipline to make it work. I’ve had years of experience at developing discipline to keep my nose to the grindstone, but I’ve not really applied it to my personal life. In retirement, the rules of entropy are very much in evidence and I often require some sort of activation energy to get up and do. Discipline (and its best buddy, routine) is what is needed for me to practise the bagpipes, go for walks, stretch, bike and cook. It seems odd to me that I need an extra impetus to do something that I enjoy doing, but this seems to be the case. Maybe it is the change of routines that is making it hard for me. Perhaps subconsciously I feel that my activities are not “serious” enough. I know that I have occasionally felt the need for getting involved in something complex and challenging. I do know that so far the most satisfying moments in retirement usually follow after I’ve pushed myself to do something.

Headology

The late, great Terry Pratchett coined the term “headology” for the chief talent in a witch’s abilities. It involves both using your brains and getting into the head of those targeted for bewitching while not really using any magic at all. I need to practise headology on myself. Many of the challenges I’m facing in retirement are rooted in my own head. Not enough money, not enough activity, not enough patience. I can and must work on bending myself to my will if I’m going to be fulfilled and happy in retirement. I also need new routines and developing them will be my goal over the next month. So I’m all set to enter my head for my very own version of “The Fantastic Voyage”. Let’s hope that my team of microscopic heroes can get all my synapses firing effectively.