Legitimized: Finally I can say, “I’m retired.” 2

Thoughts from a Retirement Coach

By Mariella Vigneux, MBA, ACC
Certified Professional Coach

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

~ Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

Ten years ago, when I became a self-employed person, I discovered a world that is hidden from those who travel the road more often taken.  Prior to that, when working a regular work week, contributing to a pension plan, and receiving a pay cheque, I was cradled comfortably in a favoured majority, although I didn’t realize it at the time. I could say, “Thank God it’s Friday,” and “Have a happy holiday season.”  I could collect short-term disability and contribute to an RRSP.  But, most importantly, I could say, “I’m a systems engineering representative,” or “I’m a public information coordinator.”  I had a title.  I earned regular income.  I was a paying member of the club.  There was a square hole for my square peg and all was right in my world.

A different approach to life

Then I chose to become an entrepreneur – a provider of coaching services and workshops. In doing so, I entered a world of nebulous identities and unusual work schedules.  I first noticed a difference when I went grocery shopping at 10:00 in the morning.  The store was humming with customers, and not just shift workers and retirees.  I sensed that I had stumbled into a world of people who approached the life with different values, circumstances, and goals.

The disenfranchised

I’ve been paying attention since then to who is doing what, and I have discovered that many people feel the burden of being outside the norm.  The person who was laid off at 55 years of age who still can’t find a job, for example.  The guy with a physical handicap that prevents him from working.  The farmer’s wife.  The underemployed person.  The grandparent who took on the raising of grandchildren – whose work week is 24/7.  The seasonal worker. The woman whose mental health condition gradually stripped her of the ability to work.  The self-employed person and the struggling artist, the writer, the actor, the filmmaker, who created multiple streams of income – but never enough income to crow over.  Those who left the workforce to care for a family member. All those who felt sidelined by the majority.  All those who felt they could not say, “I’m legitimate,” largely because they didn’t earn enough regular income to be acknowledged and cradled by the system.

A collective sigh of relief

Now a wave of grey-haired, disenfranchised ‘non-workers’ has reached retirement age.  A collective sigh of relief can be heard.  Now they have a legitimate title: “I’m retired.”  End of explanation. Full stop.  No further questions, thank you.

Many gradually slid into retirement without realizing it was upon them.  They didn’t know they would never find that next job.  But then they turned 65 years old and could stop saying, “I’m looking for work.”  Or the farm was sold, and they could say, “We’re retired now.”  Others carry on doing exactly what they were doing – creating art, caretaking, writing – but can now unshackle themselves from the expectations of the ‘legitimate’ by saying, “I’m retired.  So there!”

It’s complicated

How do I feel about where I am in retirement?  I’ve always considered retirement as doing what you love to do, so much so that you would do it without remuneration.  By that definition, I’m retired.  Sort of.  I earn money, and I’m still below the average retirement age, but I’m doing what I’d do even if I were to say, “I’m retired.”  It’s complicated.

The point is that we need to broaden our definitions of work and retirement.  We need to accept that blurry retirement territory that contains those whose work is non-traditional or irregular, as well as those who continue to work at what they love, with or without pay.  We need to welcome those from the non-traditional work world into the club, and compensate them fairly.  And we need to be sensitive about the question “What do you do for a living?”  In the end, isn’t it about showing that we truly value everyone’s contributions?  Surely, we don’t want people reaching retirement with relief, only because it finally legitimizes them in the eyes of others.