Tales of Retirement
By Maryse Lafreniere
Assistive Technologist
Retired April 2017
It was easy for me to retire. I hate rushing in the morning! And it was easy for me to choose my last day of work. My years of service and my age added up to that magic number that meant an unreduced pension. I took all the vacation due to me, plus I received an extra week for working 30 years. That made my last day April 19th, 2017, a Wednesday, 8-1/2 months ago. I was no longer an assistive technologist at a long-term care facility for adults with severe disabilities. I was retired!
I plunged into retirement by celebrating that first night with my friends, at our local pub. It was a surprise; I didn’t know that my partner Barry had invited all those people. What fun I had!
Keeping that human connection
I continued to party for a couple of months, first here in Vancouver with various buddies, then in Montreal with my family and my childhood friends. As I had hoped, I spent time with girlfriends I hadn’t seen in many decades. Marielle from Quebec City picked me up in May and we drove to see our friend, who lives in the high Laurentians (Nominingue for the ones in the know). I had occasionally seen my Quebec friend, but the other woman I hadn’t seen in 30 years. We had dinner with a fourth friend. It was great that we were still on the same page, our connection still strong. We had a wonderful time. In the fall, I spent four days in Quebec City at Marielle’s. She is definitely a lifelong friend, and not the only one. In spite of the distance, I keep in touch with a handful of women friends. I went hiking with one, and had restaurant dinners or home-cooked meals with others.
Friends and acquaintances are important to me, human connections are more important than physical possessions, and I’m not materialistic. I enjoy exchanging ideas and joking with people. I feel that I’ve done a good deed if I make someone laugh, if I touch people in a way that makes them feel valued and appreciated, if I brightened up their day even in a small way. People brighten up my day when they are nice to me. With all the bad news around, there is a comfort in small, positive interactions with friends and strangers. I noticed over the years that some seniors treat young people negatively, and I resolved never to become a negative old woman. I try to be pleasant to people.
My parents are delighted that I spend more time with them, and I enjoy their company. My sister and I spent a lot of quality time together, my brother joined us occasionally, and I spent some time with my lovely nieces. I was in Montreal for five weeks this past summer, for three weeks in the fall, and I returned in January 2018 to experience winter and cold, and the warmth of my family and friends.
Benefiting by volunteering
Volunteering is important. It’s a way to stay involved, to repay society, to have a routine, to not become selfish and self-centered, to learn new things, and to keep the mind active.
The week after my last work day, I had my orientation at FreeGeek, a non-profit society started in San Diego, with offices in various cities on the West coast, Vancouver being its only Canadian city. I knew about FreeGeek for years, because my coworkers took old equipment there. FreeGeek recycles computers, tests and reconditions old computers and components, puts them back together, and sells them in their store for reasonable prices. It keeps electronics out of the landfill, makes them available for poor people, and it’s all done locally.
I help out there one day a week, when I can. I have learned a lot about computers, more the hardware end of things. I enjoy getting to know that new community and its varied volunteers. The staff people try to be supportive, although they are definitely geeks and more into machines than people. I find them interesting. (I have a BA in psychology and am always fascinated by people.)
I always intended to volunteer at my old workplace, but first I needed to distance myself, to stop feeling so invested in my ex-clients. They were such a part of my life that it seemed necessary to let time pass before returning as a volunteer. After four months of retirement, I felt ready. Now I help the spiritual advisor with his meditation group. Being there three hours a week as a helper is very different than being a full-time technician, although just as fulfilling. I’m no longer accountable for the clients’ goals; I just assist, and that’s fine. Let someone else have the responsibility. I’m glad to keep a minor involvement in that community, minor being the key word. And I let my ex-coworkers know when I am there, so we can have lunch together in the cafeteria. It’s lovely to continue my friendships with them.
The joy of playing
I spend more time now hiking and cycling, which helps me feel fit and youthful. Hiking and other outdoorsy activities have always given me joy and I have lovely girlfriends to do it with. One of them retired last summer, so I have a playmate. Barry and I used to be members and organizers of an outdoor club before it disbanded a few years ago. I still hike and hang out with some former members, they continue to be my regular Sunday partners.
In past summers, I would jump on my bike and go for a spin, appreciating the wonderful freedom that brought. I would cycle to the beach and swim in the ocean, something I haven’t done in decades because of lack of time. Also, the beaches are too busy on weekends. So, I am looking forward to those adventures in the coming summers.
I knew when I retired that I would want to putter around with creative things, sewing, etc. I craved more free time. And, as I said earlier, I hate rushing in the morning!
My sewing machine is getting a lot of use. I’m refashioning clothes. I so enjoy the creative process. See my photos of jeans made from four pairs of old, too-small jeans.
I dabble in jewelry making, but not as much as I would like; I waste too much time on social medias and the infamous Pinterest! But, I figure I’m allowed to relax and be unproductive at times.
I’m still trying to be tidier in my kitchen, with relative success. I produce lovely big lunch-time salads, to Barry’s delight. The pasta and bread making are still at the dream stage. The singing has not happened, and it feels scary!
Speaking of scary thoughts
I think my greatest fears are boredom and disability. I get bored easily which is why I have all these plans, like the singing and pasta-making. No rush though, as I am not bored yet. I’m enjoying the sporty pursuits, as well as the creative ones. I’m doing things as the spirit moves me, or as opportunities arise.
Disability and aging are scary thoughts. I already have osteoarthritis in my shoulders, right hip, and knuckles. I exercise in part to keep fit, but I love it and I have been active all my life. It’s not my appearance that bothers me; I don’t care about wrinkles and wattles. I have never been vain. I was very skinny and flat-chested as a young woman, so self-conscious of my body, feeling ugly and unacceptable. Now that I have gained a few pounds (in all the right places!) I have a much more positive body image. My fear is in becoming disabled. But I don’t obsess about it. I enjoy pursuing my active life and I hope that I will continue to be active for a long time.
Master of my own time
I love, love, love being retired. I feel I’m master of my own time. No boss breathing down my neck. The only deadlines are ones I choose. As predicted, I have not been bored. I feel fulfilled, challenged, and interested. My life has a nice balance.
If you wish to read Maryse’s previous article, please see “Retirement – I’m ready!”