Announcing the Winner of the second annual Doggerel Cup Contest 2

One final entry was received, and then the winner was chosen…

Since we announced the second annual Doggerel Cup Limerick Contest in the October newsletter, we received a heartwarming (gut-wrenching?) number of ludicrous and amazing bits of doggerel – “comic verse composed in irregular rhythm; verse or words that are badly written or expressed.”  There were few contest rules – the entries had to be poetry (limerick, Haiku, sonnet, free verse, or whatever) and they had to refer to retirement in some way, however obliquely – so the contest drew quite a mixture of talent.

Upon the contest closure on January 31, 2018, the special Committee of Dodgy Doggerelites went to work to chose the most deserving bit of doggerel.  After much gnashing of teeth, splitting of hairs, and pounding of fists, a winner was chosen.     

And the winner is…

Oh, but wait…

One final entry was received before the deadline

Here’s to Retirement

Decades of working did she,
So professionally, most would agree.
Yet here she is now
Akin to a sow
In mud, happy as can be!

~ Melody Robinson

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 To see the other entries to this year’s contest, and for a description of the contest, please see Last chance to enter the annual Doggerel Cup Contest and Announcing the first annual Doggerel Cup Limerick Contest.

Honourable mention goes to Theresa Menard of Ottawa, Ontario

Since reaching four-score years plus ten
If you should ask me where or when
I shuffled off life’s mortal toil
Which kept this old broad on the boil
… I don’t remember!

~ Theresa Menard

And the winner is…

Christine Warltier, Summerland, B.C.

Christine is the winner two years in a row!  Her trilogy of dubious doggerel won the hearts of the judges.  Here it is again for you to marvel over:

Retirement Revenge

It’s a harsh reality that everyone works,
But it makes me twitch, my left eyeball jerks,
Deep down in my soul, the memory lurks,
Way down in the mires, down in the murks.

I hope my new lifestyle really irks,
My grumpy old boss, whose duties he shirks,
He was just a big bully like the rest of the berks,
Just one of his foibles, one of his quirks.

But now one of retirement’s magnificent percs,
Is tropical music which causes some twerks,
And a couple of beers and a couple of smirks.
Hanging out on an island in Caicos and Turks.

Shackles Off

Now others careers I don’t wish to besmirch,
But employment for me caused my stomach to lurch,
I felt so constrained, just like sitting in church,
My escape to retirement was an ongoing search.

Some workers are rudely pushed from their perch,
But I gayly shouted au revoir, arrivaderch,
As I paddle away having done my research,
In my slender craft made from the bark of a birch.

The Gamble

As someone who plays his cards close to his vest,
I came to dislike this tightness of chest,
It seemed to arrive when put to the test,
At my job, nine to five, I just needed to rest.

When next we were gathered at the boss’ behest,
A long leave of absence I did boldly request.
I planned not to return but never confessed.
Because I knew in my heart I had given my best.

And now I set sail on my own pleasure quest,
Ever searching for sunsets far off to the west,
With an empty wallet and an emptier nest,
If this doesn’t pan out, I’ll be a wee bit pessed!

Judges’ commentary

Falling back on a technique that was appreciated by last year’s panel of judges, Ms. Warltier ended her entry with a non-word:  pessed.  And, once again, the Committee of Dodgy Doggerelites loved it!  The judges also appreciated the sing-song metre, the use of odd words, and the humorous tone.

For those of you who might question the integrity of the judging process – given that the same entrant won two years in a row – take heart in knowing that three of the four judges were new this year.  Now, mind you, all the judges happen to be related to Ms. Warltier, as they were last year, but let me be clear that this in no way signified favouritism on the part of the judges. Such a practice would have them blushing at the impropriety!  And one only has to read Ms. Warltier’s doggerel verses to appreciate their beauty.

A word from the recipient

My sweet little doggerel and I gratefully thank the judges for this prestigious award.  I am honoured to have been chosen (again)!  It has been another shining moment in my retirement career, a star in my virtual Hollywood sidewalk.  But really, next year, it must be someone else. My trophy case is full and my cup runneth over.

Your servants,
Chris Warltier and Lulu

The prize

The prize is the truly splendiferous Doggerel Cup.  The winner can proudly display this much sought-after trophy for one year and that comes complete with boasting privileges.

The Committee of Dodgy Doggerelites would like to thank all of you who entered limericks in the contest, and all of you who read them!

Until next year…