Still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up?  16 questions to help figure it out. 4

Thoughts from a Retirement Coach

By Mariella Vigneux, MBA, ACC
Certified Professional Coach

When we were young, people would ask “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  Most of us thought up an acceptable answer: firefighter, astronaut, teacher, doctor.  Then we spent half a lifetime building and inhabiting different careers, wearing different hats.  And now retirement is pending, or upon us, and we still may not know what we really want to be when we grow up.

And it can be unsettling.

In retirement, like children again, we are free to choose.  Our options are wide open.  We can be exactly what we want to be.

Reframing the question

Only this time, it’s not a career that drives the choice and, unlike children, we are not presented with a list of acceptable options.  No longer defined by our work, how do we answer that question:  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Maybe the question needs to be reframed.  Maybe the question should be “Who do you want to be in retirement?”  It’s still a big question, but it now underscores the point that we are no longer defined – or confined – by our work and can become whomever we want and do whatever turns our cranks.

16 questions to help figure it out

I’ve put together a list of questions that will help you clarify who you want to be in retirement.

1. If you were to wander through your home looking at the things (and people) you’ve put into your life, what do they tell you about yourself?

2. What do your old report cards reveal: Any gems in the comments from your teachers? In which subjects did you excel?  Which subjects did you enjoy?

3. When have you lost track of time because you were so absorbed in something?

4. What do you want to get better and better at doing?

5. What kinds of things do people come to you for help with (what are you known for)?

6. What motivates you in relation to retirement – for example, happy relationships, money worries, helping others, the next generations, your creativity, finding pleasure and contentment, creating a legacy, adventuring, being productive?

7. How do you define success as it relates to your retirement?

8. When in your life have you felt completely comfortable in your own skin?

9. If you were to leaf through a file folder of all the dream jobs you ever wanted (or had), what would they tell you about your dreams / about yourself?

10. What in this world drives you crazy enough that you would help to fix it – for example, a product, a system, a falsehood, or a practice?

11. What has been a consistent thread throughout your life?

12. How are you different from everyone else… in your weirdness, your beliefs, your character traits, and the knowledge and skills you’ve developed?

13. What have been the proudest moments in your life?

14. What did you love about work that you’d like to bring into your retirement?

15. What is one thing you would relish doing for the next 15 to 40 years of your life?

16. In this next phase of your life, what do you really want / What do you really want?

A rare opportunity

Retirement gives us a rare chance to really figure out what we want out of life.  When I was a kid I wanted to be a ballerina, a priest (they had more power than nuns), and a detective.  Today, I sometimes do ballet balance moves at the gym; the desire to be a priest has vanished (the Lord be praised); and detection is a tool I use when working with people who are planning their retirements.  I don’t know how much time I still have on this good, green earth, but I hope to have enough time to try many new things.  What, I don’t yet know!  I want to continue to play with my camera and to write.  I want to be peaceful, ready to laugh, and adaptable to change.

What about you?  As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?  And now, who do you want to be in retirement?  What will make your retirement terrific?  I hope the list of 16 questions is helpful in triggering some ideas for you.  Good luck!