If only we had instructions for retirement 1

Thoughts from a Retirement Coach

By Mariella Vigneux, MBA, ACC
Certified Professional Coach

My husband is a school teacher and he figures that people who are thinking about retirement are probably just like most kids in elementary school – they want to be told what to do: cut here, fold there, colour that and print your name at the bottom. That’s it, you did it right.

Customized daily instructions in retirement… how easy!

Think how easy it would be to be given a set of instructions for the day, instructions that provided just the right amount of structure, but were customized to your fancies, whims, and personal foibles.

For one person the instructions might start like this:

1. Sleep for as long as you want.
2. Lie in bed reading the paper and drinking coffee.
3. Stay in your pyjamas while you eat your eggs and toast.
4. Dress in extremely comfortable clothes.
5. Go for a meandering walk along the river trail, camera in hand.

For another, they may look like this:

1. Wake after seven to eight hours of sleep.
2. Journal about three things for which you are grateful.
3. Get out of bed, stretch, and drink two glasses of water.
4. Dress in clothing for physical activity.
5. Eat a balanced breakfast of fruit, protein, and fibre.
6. Go to the gym for an hour workout – cardio, strength, and flexibility.

If only life were that simple!

Unexpected complications

In reality, we have to create our own instructions, which can be difficult since most of us haven’t practised being retired. And often we face unexpected circumstances that complicate retirement. Some people have developed a chronic illness, or have parents who suddenly need care, or a child with a disability still living at home. Some find they’ve inherited their parent’s home, which requires management, along with their own home, cottage, and chalet. Some people need to work part-time to pay the bills. Others are dealing with the trauma of being fired or the grief of having their partner suddenly die.

We all approach retirement differently

Our unique circumstances, personalities, needs, and past experiences cause us each to approach retirement in our own way.

• One person might taper slowly from work into retirement, travel for three months, declutter and sell their house, move to the country, and take distance education courses in something that has always interested them.
• One person might quit their job – cold turkey – laze around for a year, sailing, skiing and spending time in the hammock. Then they might decide to start their own part-time, seasonal business.
• One person might begin by doing valuable volunteer work (sitting on the board of directors for an organization they admire, taking care of the grandchildren while the parents work, and renovating their son’s bathroom), and then – in desperation – go back to work full time.
• One person might divide each year into quarters – spending three months in a creative endeavour (woodcarving, piano playing, quilting, and painting), spending three months in a consulting capacity at their old workplace, spending three months connecting with their family and friends, and spending the last three months giving back to their community in a useful way.

The 8 Rs of Competency in Retirement

How do we create instructions that will provide enough structure, without rigidity? How do we prevent ourselves from getting sucked into the vortex of tasks, duties, meaningless time fillers, and too much work that others want us to do for them?

I’ve come to realize from the numerous conversations I’ve had with people thinking about retirement that, although each person has unique experiences and needs, there are common issues we face. In thinking about these issues, I’ve come up with the 8 Rs of retirement life planning. Like the three Rs of elementary school – reading, writing and arithmetic – the 8 Rs are building blocks. They are foundational steps for building competency in retirement.

1. Reset your frame of mind
2. Recognize your value
3. Reshape your identity
4. Redefine your purpose
5. Rekindle your passions
6. Release your old life
7. Rebuild new life structures
8. Recreate possibilities

Imagine going into retirement with a learning frame of mind, knowing your value in the world, gleeful about your new identity, full of purpose and passion, ready to give up your old work life, and being open to great possibilities. Imagine how confident and rejuvenated you would feel.

This is the stuff of retirement planning that gets me out of bed in the morning with a sparkle in my eye.