A snowbird experience 3

Tales of Retirement

By Amy Cousineau
Anglican Parish Priest
Retired Fall 2014

I haven’t been a fan of winter for a long time, since I was a little kid. Being of slight build (until recent years!) I have always been cold from November until May. The older I get (I turned 65 last May) the more I dread winter and hate the cold. Recently, this dislike of cold led me to a five truths about myself, retirement, and my place in the world.

This winter was my first being fully retired from my job as a parish priest in the Anglican Church. My husband Fred is a retired teacher, who runs a lawn maintenance business in the spring, summer and fall. Being untethered for the first time, we decided to ‘take the plunge’ and winter in Florida. From mid-January until mid-April we lived in a rented house in Weeki Wachee Florida, about an hour north of Tampa. They call this area the Nature Coast because, although it’s close to the Gulf of Mexico, there are no beaches. Instead, the shore boasts salt estuaries and sea grasses, alligators and snakes, dolphins and manatees (also known as sea cows). It was a good place for our untethered souls.

Travelling light is freeing

Our car is a small, old Dodge Caliber. We brought some baby equipment for the visits of our infant grandson, so there was little room to bring ‘stuff’ with us. We each packed a small suitcase, our computers, and a few hobby materials. As a bookaholic, it is lucky for me that I have a Kobo and can borrow e-books from the Ontario Library Service from anywhere in the world! We moved into a rental house, which could be charitably described as sparsely furnished. And what was in the house had mostly been purchased at a dollar store!

But this situation turned out to be immensely freeing! Life is simpler with few possessions to look after. Dressing is easier when choosing between only two T-shirts! I found I didn’t miss all my clothes, cooking apparatus, and full pantry. We wore what we had and cooked what we purchased daily at the grocery store around the corner. I even found that I was leaving my big purse behind and carrying only a little pouch on a strap. I felt lighter, not weighed down by stuff.

Of course, life was simpler too with no meetings to arrange or attend, no sermons to prepare, and little I could do to assist those in my sphere who were ill or needing comfort.

All of this freed up space in my days for people watching, exploring and connecting.

Exploring awakens possibilities

Early in our stay, I got my teeth into a project to search the Internet for interesting things to do, places to eat, and trails to hike within an hour of our place. Fred found several golf courses for us to try. We explored about half the places we had identified, leaving the other half for next year. It was interesting to go to new places and experience the ‘real Florida,’ to hike among unfamiliar trees, to try new restaurants, and to experience new golf courses. We saw sandhill cranes, alligators, manatees, armadillos, osprey, and bald eagles. We learned that Florida actually has winter and then spring. When we arrived, most of the landscape was brown—what we had experienced on shorter winter visits to Florida. Then, in mid-February, leaves started to come out on the trees and by mid-April, there was green, green, green everywhere! And flowers—roses, magnolias, oleander, and others I can’t name. It was breathtakingly beautiful everywhere!

Having lived in the Guelph area for over 40 years, it was good for us to live in a different environment – like waking up to unknown possibilities!

Connecting away from home turf can deepen relationships

Our Florida winter also allowed us to connect in a special way with family and friends. The main reason we decided to rent a house and spend the winter was because we hoped our family would visit us. And they did! Two visits from our daughter and grandson (one with her partner and his daughters), a visit from our son and his wife, and three wonderful weeks with two friends and a cousin. We got to know our house guests in a whole new way, and differently from how we would have if they had stayed with us in our own home. Each group had different interests and needs, different ways of doing things, and different views of the world. We had great conversations, lots of laughs, and enjoyed our activities together. Their visits encouraged us to do things we wouldn’t do on our own. The schedule of visits made a nice rhythm, with the busyness of week-long visits followed by a week or two of quiet time for us before the next visitors arrived.

Fred’s brother and sister-in-law were renting a house just down the street from us. We saw them daily, which was a joy and a pleasure, and the four of us often ate supper together. When they experienced a death in her family, and then the serious illness of their son-in-law, we were there for them. Our relationship has grown closer and more intimate because of spending the winter together. We made memories and created stories for the brothers to tell for years to come!

We’re all in this together

I enjoyed people watching in Florida. In a milieu where most of the population seems to be over 55, I realized that ‘thin’ and ’fat’ are not important descriptors for me or anyone else! Instead, I noticed whether people looked healthy and whether they seemed to be as stiff as I am when getting out of a car. I observed the determination and courage it takes to walk into the grocery store when relying on a cane or a walker.

Slowing brings spaciousness to life

I also observed myself. I wondered how I would manage for three months without my sewing machine and my friends. I was pleased to find that I did quite well! Fred and I managed to co-exist and treasure each other’s company, even while spending much more time together than we are used to. I revelled in the spaciousness of life in Florida, with very little on my calendar and each day open to whatever we felt like doing and whatever the weather allowed. I returned, in a small way, to journal keeping and daily spiritual practice. I read and listened to many books, of various genres. I finished a quilt for my grandson, all sewn by hand. I completed seven jigsaw puzzles, a favourite activity I seldom indulge in my busy life at home. I felt healthy and energetic. And, for the first time in many years, I had confidence that when I went to bed at night I would go to sleep!

It was a good winter for us! But when the time came, I found that I was ready to return home. To return to the complications and obligations of ‘real life.’ To savour the observations I had made in Florida. To sit at my sewing machine, and meet with my friends, and to be intellectually and spiritually stimulated. And to look forward to another hiatus in paradise next winter.