Downsizing your home – by crisis or by choice? 2

Retirement Stats, Studies, and Stuff

Guest Writer:

Ellen Crymble
Realtor, Owen Sound area
Retired January 1, 2016 after 35 years and 8 months

In retirement, many of us avoid thinking about when we should downsize our home.  Thinking about it means facing the possibility of giving up our much-loved nest, the place we’ve made our own, the place we are comfortable.  Avoiding the decision, however, won’t make it go away, and who better to tell us the consequences of avoidance than a realtor who has seen the fallout so many, many times. Here is Ellen Crymble’s story about downsizing – by crisis or by choice.

I heard the words “come in” and opened the door. I was unprepared for what I saw.  Sarah was standing by her walker at the top of the stairs, surrounded by a blizzard of belongings. Shoes littered the staircase between us.

I was there to tell her what price her house would potentially sell for, and what she should do to prepare the house for the market.

Unexpected expenses

Sarah had purchased the house three years before. Within a year of moving in, her health went into decline. Knowing she would eventually need help, Sarah’s son David moved into the basement. They created a living space for him, installed a $20,000 kitchen, which opened onto a living/dining room. One huge bedroom at the back was for his use. A three-piece bath, laundry room, and storage room completed David’s living space. Not wanting to share, Sarah converted one of the three bedrooms into a laundry/storage room. There was not one flat surface that wasn’t covered in boxes, papers, cleaning supplies and ironing waiting to be attended to.  She proudly showed me her new bathroom. She had ripped out the perfectly good bath tub/shower combination in favour of installing an expensive one-piece shower with grip bars. It was easily accessible for her, but it left no bathtub in the entire house. I wondered how a new owner with a baby would cope.

Cluttered, crammed, and chaotic

As I toured the house with Sarah, I had to step around more boxes, piles of linen, and clothing in the master bedroom. Things were heaped everywhere. She had difficulty manoeuvring her walker through the piles. She attempted to open the closet door. Clothing was crammed into the closet and on the shelf.  The spare bedroom was no longer accessible. Boxes of dishes, papers, and craft supplies were mounded knee deep. The bed was covered in more clothing and boxes. The closet doors were open, revealing more cleaning supplies, boxes of books, and magazines that were yellowed and faded. I tried to take it all in.

Sarah led me downstairs. There was no room to sit anywhere in the living room or dining room, which held her Royal Dalton figurines, plate collection, spoon collection, and rows and rows of crystal on the shelves of three china cabinets. Sarah announced the crystal chandelier would be excluded.

In search of a place to sit, we opted for the kitchen. I cleared the papers off two chairs. David joined us. It wasn’t a conversation I enjoyed, but one I had perfected over the years: “Here is what I suggest you do…”

The irony of it all

I was there because Sarah had reached the emergency-downsizing stage of her life. Heart problems prevented her from going up and down stairs, yet she lived in a raised bungalow where stairs greeted you on entry to the house. Oddly enough, even though David had moved in to assist his mother, he was even sicker than she was. Sarah had heart problems and suffered dizzy spells, often causing her to fall. David, on the other hand, had been diagnosed with stomach cancer and his care was going to be way beyond Sarah’s caretaking abilities. The irony was not lost on me.

Two types of downsizing

There are two types of downsizing. The most common form, unfortunately, is crisis downsizing.  This occurs, often unexpectedly, when someone becomes incapacitated through a health trauma or passes away, leaving their partner to cope as best they can. Often the person left behind realizes they can’t cope with outdoor tasks, such as snow removal, lawn care, or exterior maintenance of the property. They might hire people, or depend on friends, family and neighbours, but it can be hit and miss or just not practical at all. At 75 years of age, do you really want to learn how to handle the snowblower?

The second type of downsizing is by choice. People look around their place of residence and realize that changes need to be made. Either they are going to adapt their home physically with mobility assisted devices – like higher toilets, grab bars for the bathtub and shower, ramps, railings, etc. – or they are going to move.

If you choose to move, I suggest you start planning well in advance. Explore the options in your community to see what is available and decide on your first choice. There may be waiting lists for nice apartment buildings, condominiums in small buildings that rarely come on the market, adult lifestyle communities, and seniors’ residences. Look at as much as you can. You do not need to commit to anything while you explore your options. Could you live in an apartment? Could you afford the condominium common expenses? Would you keep your car(s)? Would you be on a fixed income where price is the main deciding factor in your choice of facilities?

Letting go

Downsizing may mean sacrificing the car. When you compare the cost of maintaining two cars versus the weekly cab to the YMCA or the bridge game, you might be surprised. Downsizing also means giving up the dining room table that seats 10, and the china cabinet and matching sideboard. You likely have great memories of family dinners around that table, but it’s time for your children to step up to the plate and cook those dinners from now on. You can join in and relax. Restaurants often do great family dinners if you plan ahead.

Don’t be surprised if your children and grandchildren don’t want your good dishes, your good crystal, your figurine collection, etc. Grandchildren want their furniture to come from Ikea. They can’t relate to ‘good silverware’ or ‘good dishes’.  Don’t be disappointed when the entire set of dishes you sent to auction sells for less than you paid for one platter. Let them go. You aren’t taking them with you in the coffin. Look to local charities like Value Village, Bibles for Missions, ReStore (Habitat for Humanity), and Salvation Army that offer pick-up of large items and will take almost anything.

Being methodical (and ruthless)

Start the purge in a methodical way… sorting through one shelf, one drawer, one closet rod on a weekly basis until you have gone through everything. Turn all your clothes hangers around with the open end of the hook facing you. When you wear an item, turn the hanger the opposite way and leave it that way. After a year, any clothing left with the open end of the hook still facing you is donated. There are organizations that will come to your door to pick up (Kidney foundation and Diabetes Foundation to name two).

Tell your well-intentioned children there will be no more gifts at Christmas, anniversaries or birthdays. You only want edible things or events that can be shared. A picnic in the park, dinner out, and theatre tickets are great gifts. No more figurines. Take photos of your collections and put them in an album or, if you are tech savvy, on your computer in a memories album. Give them away. Donate them to a charity auction. Sell them at a garage sale if you can stomach garage sales. Expect 5 to 10 cents on the dollar.

Back to David and Sarah

It is difficult for some to imagine living in a smaller space without the “stuff” that their loved ones gave them, but it is possible. David moved into an apartment and relies on the healthcare community and his family for care. He needs to live modestly since he is on a fixed income and, because he had a short time frame, he chose what was available and made it work. Sarah moved into a care facility with two china cabinets in tow, filled to the brim with her treasures. There is one chair for her to sit on. The other chairs and flat surfaces are covered with the collections she was unable to let go.

Sarah’s house did sell to a young family. They are in the process of ripping out the expensive shower and putting the bathtub/shower combination back in so they can bathe their newborn. The $20,000 kitchen was sold to a friend who was renovating.

Sarah and David downsized the hard way.  It doesn’t have to be like that.  If you plan ahead, you can save yourself money, time, labour, and stress.  I’ve seen many people adjust well to new, smaller homes and, more often than not, they ask themselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”