The contest closes January 31st.
Submit your entries now!
You still have time to submit your masterpiece, but the contest is coming to an end soon. Please find contest details below.
The competition has been ferocious! Doggerel delighters from all over the country have sent in their best and, again this year, the fur is flying.
Here are the entries so far:
A school bus passes.
Pickup trucks speeding to work.
I sip tea and smile.
~ Frank Laytner
If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium
What day is it? I would be loath
To declare today’s date under oath.
I’m a bit out of touch.
Does it matter? Not much.
I’m retired! Or senile! Or both!
~ Pauline Hodge
Having free time is really not sucky.
I sigh with relief. I feel so so lucky.
No one can tell me when, where or why
I am my master. My oh my!
I can be busy. I can be lazy.
Memories of working are all very hazy.
There are chores to be done but the timing is mine.
If I choose to delay, well, that’s just fine.
Hobbies abound. I’m having such fun.
Travel expands. It’s never quite done.
The kids get more help. It’s nice to be able.
Our income is lower but everything’s stable.
I feel that I’m rich in choices and leisure.
Less chance of a heart attack, stroke or a seizure.
Those that love work are a mystery to me.
Retire! It’s great. Try it and see.
~ Suzanne Laytner
Since reaching four-score years plus ten
If you should ask me where or when
I shuffled off life’s mortal toil
Which kept this old broad on the boil
I don’t remember!
~ Theresa Menard
A Trilogy of Fine Poetry
It’s a harsh reality that everyone works,
But it makes me twitch, my left eyeball jerks,
Deep down in my soul, the memory lurks,
Way down in the mires, down in the murks.
I hope my new lifestyle really irks,
My grumpy old boss, whose duties he shirks,
He was just a big bully like the rest of the berks,
Just one of his foibles, one of his quirks.
But now one of retirement’s magnificent perks,
Is tropical music which causes some twerks,
And a couple of beers and a couple of smirks.
Hanging out on an island in Caicos and Turks.
Now others careers I don’t wish to besmirch,
But employment for me caused my stomach to lurch,
I felt so constrained, just like sitting in church,
My escape to retirement was an ongoing search.
Some workers are rudely pushed from their perch,
But I gayly shouted au revoir, arrivaderch,
As I paddle away having done my research,
In my slender craft made from the bark of a birch.
As someone who plays his cards close to his vest,
I came to dislike this tightness of chest,
It seemed to arrive when put to the test,
At my job, nine to five, I just needed to rest.
When next we were gathered at the boss’ behest,
A long leave of absence I did boldly request.
I planned not to return but never confessed.
Because I knew in my heart I had given my best.
And now I set sail on my own pleasure quest,
Ever searching for sunsets far off to the west,
With an empty wallet and an emptier nest,
If this doesn’t pan out, I’ll be a wee bit pessed!
~ Christine Warltier
Submit your entries
In our last issue of Retiring with Purpose and Passion newsletter we announced the second annual Doggerel Cup Limerick Contest, a feisty and frivolous contest to recognize the finest retirement doggerel.
What is doggerel? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, doggerel is
“comic verse composed in irregular rhythm; verse or words that are badly written or expressed.”
We welcome your silliest creations. We’ll publish these beauties as they are submitted.
After the submission deadline, a special committee of dodgy doggerelites will judge the entries and award the Doggerel Cup to the winner. That lucky person can then proudly display the Cup in their home for one year. It comes with boasting privileges.
Deadline for final submissions is now January 31, 2016.
What are the rules? There are none! Okay, it has to be poetry and it has to refer to retirement in some way, however obliquely. That’s it.