Gems from year two 2

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Crabapple PerspectiveFavourite Quotations from this Newsletter
August 2015 to July 2016

 

To celebrate the second year of this newsletter, I enjoyed several days rereading all the articles submitted by our 19 contributing writers.  I pulled out the best tidbits of wisdom, humour and experience.  I then asked the editing team to choose their favourites from a list of 65 quotations.  After much contemplation and head scratching, we assembled the top 12 gems, ones that stand out as universal truths.  They are listed here for your enjoyment.

We couldn’t bear to discard the others, so you can find most of them at the bottom of this page.  If you wish to see who wrote these little gems, or if you’d like to link to the articles, just follow the footnotes.

Huge thanks go to Suzanne, Mark, Timothy, and Sylvie for their help over the past two years. They have faithfully polished and honed articles, month after month, with enthusiasm, skill, and goodwill.

Enjoy the gems!

Mariella

 

 Top 12 Gems

 

  1. What I hadn’t counted on was inertia, and guilt, and loneliness, and loss of status, and financial anxiety.  But other than this, I’m doing great.  Seriously.[1]

 

  1. I realize today that retirement truly started working for me when I began to look for the small happinesses first: an unusual sunset, the magic and might of a thunderstorm, fireflies where I had never seen them before, the return of the orioles…[2]

 

  1. Time speeds up later in life. Two days ago I filled my weekly pill dispenser, and today it needs filling again.[3]

 

  1. For me, worrying about money has got to be the fiend most foul.  How the heck am I supposed to feel comfortable about having enough money for the next 35+ years? [4]

 

  1. If someone was going to be underfoot, I didn’t expect it to be me.[5]

 

  1. Upon retiring, I felt disoriented for a very long time as I became accustomed to realizing that time really does belong to me, for possibly the first time in my life.[6]

 

  1. I think it is important for me to keep an open mind about retirement expectations and “go with the flow” until either our life has developed a pattern or we live happily in chaos.[7]

 

  1. I learned from a flower and a bird that it is possible to exist without having to perform. Just be, push down roots and enjoy the sun or the rain; hunt and peck for food and flitter off to a better vantage point to enjoy it.[8]

 

  1. Here I am, in retirement and still feeling rueful about sleeping in. Still at the mercy of a puritan work ethic. Still not free.[9]

 

  1. So along comes the cloud and according to well-known lore, it also comes with the thing called the Silver Lining, something no one ever thinks about initially – sort of like insurance or boot liners.[10]

 

  1. I wish I could stop condemning myself for not making obvious contributions to the world. I wish I could believe that making beauty is a valuable enough offering.[11]

 

  1. Stopping ensures that when I start again I will be going in the direction that I want.[12]

 

 

More Gems from Year Two…

 

  1. The Refrigerator – Prior to retirement, this appliance was only a threat on weekends and holidays.  Now, however, it hums seductively all the time, tempting me to enter even when I’m not hungry.  Is there such a thing as the post-retirement 10 pounds?[13]

 

  1. I tell people I do not want to be tied down with plans; that I want to be free to do whatever strikes me in the moment. These things are true, but I think there is a bigger, scarier truth lurking just behind my cover story. There are things that are part of my long-time, ever-since-I-was-a-kid, this-is-at-the-core-of-my-inner-self, dreams that I am afraid to butt up against with nowhere else to turn. Because I might fail.[14]

 

  1. Nine months after her death, he made a decision that he wasn’t going to be sad anymore.  I was astounded by this statement!  How does one choose not to be sad when the pain is so unbearable?[15]

 

  1. Don’t be disappointed when the entire set of dishes you sent to auction sells for less than you paid for one platter. Let them go. You aren’t taking them with you in the coffin.[16]

 

  1. I’ve been surprised, too, that I actually worry less about money now than when I was working. I’m not sure why, but we’re managing on less coming in, and doing much better than I expected.[17]

 

  1. I even found that I was leaving my big purse behind and carrying only a little pouch on a strap. I felt lighter, not weighed down by stuff.[18]

 

  1. Travelling alone had worked so well in my early 20s for meeting scores and scores of folks; but now, in my 50s, it became clear that some other dynamic prevailed.  People don’t engage with you, nor you them; there is something more fixed about us all.  What I remembered as having been attractive and bohemian (vaguely) in my youth, in my middle ages smacked of just pure loneliness.[19]

 

  1. The sun is always shining even though we cannot see it on a cloudy day.  Unlike the weather outside, we can change the weather inside…. we are capable of taking back the reins on our runaway thoughts and emotions and steering them on a surer course toward our greater health and happiness.[20]

 

  1. I know of many people who have described their state as being one of contentment yet who are highly engaged in personal development and advancing their goals. So I don’t give particular credence to concerns that contentment will undermine achievement.[21]

 

  1. The research also found that older adults who participate in active learning are able to remain active in the community, develop new interests, and keep up with younger generations; they are healthier, happier, and independent.[22]

 

  1. I am becoming much more compassionate with myself and others regarding productivity and success. This compassion is helping me to face my own limitations with an attitude that doesn’t take away from my goal-focused, outcome-oriented approach, but that allows space for seeing goals and outcomes in a much broader context. And in so doing, creates a much larger space for hope.[23]

 

  1. Even before I had a vested interest, I resisted our culture’s over-valuing of youth in phrases such as ‘young at heart.’ Why wouldn’t ‘old at heart’ be the commendation?[24]

 

  1. To me, that’s as good a definition of retirement as any: doing what you love and being willing to do it for no pay.[25]

 

  1. I couldn’t wait to do those things I had held back on all those working years, to do things I had never before considered.  I moved into retirement with a vengeance.[26]

 

  1. I don’t have to go to work!  The months are zipping by so fast (picture blowing calendar leaves, rapidly changing seasons, and clock hands spinning) that it practically takes my breath away.[27]

 

  1. I re-centre my awareness on the present moment and make the going more vivid, richer and more refined.  I have been getting used to using stillpoints to ground myself in the beauty of the day, to lead me away from niggling about the past and fretting about the future, and to embrace the process.[28]

 

  1. We can dress up our mortality any way we like, but we are on the downhill slope.[29]

 

  1. If I end up in Peru, my modus operandi becomes a matter of simple, basic verbs: teach, write, walk, sleep, eat, look, feel, smell, hear, taste.  There is something wonderfully rife with possibility about these words.  Perhaps that is indeed what retirement is – parcels of possibility which become reality with all its attendant glories and messes.[30]

 

  1. I want to learn to explore life off the pre-set trail, where it’s unknown and just a little eerie, yet ultimately more my place, and my pace.[31]

 

  1. I’ve seen many people adjust well to new, smaller homes and, more often than not, they ask themselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”[32]

 

  1. For the first time, an awareness of running out of time has an actual impact on my decisions.[33]

 

  1. I am beginning to believe that derailments are about reassessing my goals, testing my ability to be flexible, to pick up and go from here.  I don’t know why it has taken me so long to come to this conclusion; maybe I have finally exhausted the other alternatives.[34]

 

  1. If we can’t seem to find a sense of purpose, we can do what we’re doing with care and attention.  It may develop into a passion.[35]

 

  1. When she was planning her funeral, my mother fretted over the question of a concrete burial vault. She didn’t need one, but it would prevent the grave from slumping and make mowing easier for the groundskeeper. “You can stop taking care of people once you die, Mum,” I told her.[36]

 

  1. There are some ugly aspects to retirement.  My lack of routine has allowed my “I should” list to blossom into a full-fledged “what would my mother say about it” list. There are no rules, just you.[37]

 

[1] Anson Laytner, https://crabapple.ca/2015/09/01/im-fine-really/

[2] Jean Murphy, https://crabapple.ca/2016/06/14/retirement-out-with-a-whimper-not-a-bang/

[3] Helen, https://crabapple.ca/2016/01/18/navigating-the-end-of-the-bend/

[4] Frank, https://crabapple.ca/2016/01/06/tempus-fugit/

[5] Helen, https://crabapple.ca/2015/11/18/new-keys-on-my-key-ring/

[6] Rose Morley, https://crabapple.ca/2016/03/14/when-bad-things-happen-to-good-dreams-or-now-what/

[7] Frank, https://crabapple.ca/2015/10/06/opportunistic-tumbleweed/

[8] Peter, https://crabapple.ca/2016/06/28/getting-to-a-simpler-place/

[9] Helen, https://crabapple.ca/2015/08/26/three-year-retirement-retrospective/

[10] Rose Morley, https://crabapple.ca/2016/03/14/when-bad-things-happen-to-good-dreams-or-now-what/

[11] Helen, https://crabapple.ca/2015/10/21/what-do-i-miss/

[12] Peter, https://crabapple.ca/2016/04/14/getting-to-a-full-stop/

[13] Anson Laytner, https://crabapple.ca/2015/12/14/household-hazards-in-retirement/

[14] Mark, https://crabapple.ca/2015/11/24/practising-retirement-and-my-cover-story/

[15] Judy Callahan, https://crabapple.ca/2016/01/14/choosing-not-to-be-sad/

[16] Ellen Crymble, https://crabapple.ca/2016/04/28/downsizing-your-home-by-crisis-or-by-choice/

[17] Donna Beatty, https://crabapple.ca/2016/04/14/retirement-the-3-rs-renew-refresh-rejuvenate/

[18] Amy Cousineau, https://crabapple.ca/2015/07/15/a-snowbird-experience/

[19] Hazel Lyder, https://crabapple.ca/2016/05/22/sometimes-the-harder-you-go-at-a-thing-the-more-it-recedes/

[20] Catherine M. Miller, https://crabapple.ca/2015/11/08/happiness-at-the-speed-of-life/

[21] Bret Maukonen, https://crabapple.ca/2015/10/01/contentment-what-does-it-look-like/

[22] Jill Watson, https://crabapple.ca/2016/05/16/never-too-old-to-learn/

[23] Kathy Underwood, https://crabapple.ca/2016/06/27/ponderings-about-retirement-from-a-residential-hospice-chaplain/

[24] Helen, https://crabapple.ca/2016/01/18/navigating-the-end-of-the-bend/

[25] Mariella Vigneux, https://crabapple.ca/2015/12/01/id-rather-die-in-the-traces-than-retire/

[26] Peter, https://crabapple.ca/2016/02/08/getting-off-track-getting-to-retirement-after-retirement/

[27] Frank, https://crabapple.ca/2016/01/06/tempus-fugit/

[28] Peter, https://crabapple.ca/2016/05/19/getting-to-the-point-still/

[29] Frank, https://crabapple.ca/2016/01/06/tempus-fugit/

[30] Rose Morley, https://crabapple.ca/2015/10/16/comfort-zone-be-damned/

[31] Peter, https://crabapple.ca/2016/02/08/getting-off-track-getting-to-retirement-after-retirement/

[32] Ellen Crymble, https://crabapple.ca/2016/04/28/downsizing-your-home-by-crisis-or-by-choice/

[33] Helen, https://crabapple.ca/2015/12/23/the-end-of-the-bend/

[34] Rose Morley, https://crabapple.ca/2016/03/14/when-bad-things-happen-to-good-dreams-or-now-what/

[35] Mariella Vigneux, https://crabapple.ca/2016/05/31/retirement-where-the-future-of-the-universe-depends-on-you-ha/

[36] Helen, https://crabapple.ca/2016/01/18/navigating-the-end-of-the-bend/

[37] Frank, https://crabapple.ca/2016/01/06/tempus-fugit/

 

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